Anticipation

I'm often amazed at the beauty we see every day.
Today, on a drive down the interstate, I saw a couple of geese on a pond, with four or five little geese paddling around. Later, I saw two wild turkeys feeding at the edge of a timberline.
It was a fabulous day in northwest Missouri, the temperature was perfectly brisk, the sun was shining, the sky was filled with those fluffy white clouds - in short - it was lovely.
When this day began, I had no plans. There was no anticipation of these events. It was just a new day. I was not disappointed, because I had no expectations of what this day should be.
Anticipation works both ways.
Yesterday, I went for the second part of a root canal, and my dentist discovered the tooth was cracked down through the root. I suspected it was, I was still in pain even after my dentist dug the root out of the tooth a couple of weeks ago. So, we decided our best option was to pull the tooth. I anticipated that possibility, but hadn't really considered how I might feel about it. Honestly, I don't fear very many things, but I had never experienced having a tooth pulled. Although it was virtually painless until the novocaine wore off, I was afraid. I imagined the roots of this tooth reaching up through my upper jaw, probably ending somewhere near my left eyeball. I was wrong. But it goes to show that the anticipation of an event is usually much worse (and sometimes much better) than the event itself.
Now I have an extra hole in my head. What an unusual feeling. It hurt enough this morning to take a pain killer, but has been bearable most of the day, and I think it will be fine.
Anticipation, in the form of excitement about a coming event, can be just as debilitating. I can spend weeks looking forward to something, building it up in my mind into something much more exciting than it turns out to be. While disappointment is sure to follow when that happens, I am not yet ready to give up the anticipation - whether it leads me to fear or excitement.
Every now and then, when the actual event I've been anticipating takes place, the thrill of learning something isn't as bad as I thought it would be, or is more wonderful than I could have imagined. And that's what makes all the difference.

For now, I am anticipating a night of peaceful, rejuvenating sleep. And when I wake, I will start my day with a wonderful cup of steaming hot coffee and part of an apple fritter. I will look at the Sunday newspaper, and I will remind my husband how much I love him. After that I will fold clothes and decide what I'm wearing to work Monday. I will plant tomatoes and a zucchini. I may decide to go into the office and see what will be waiting for me Monday morning.
I am anticipating another wonderful day.